This is really better for “Hump Day”.
I have heard this phrase used on reality shows, talk shows, scripted evening shows, and daytime soap operas. I have never quite figured out how one ‘accidentally’ has sex with another person. This is bothering me today.
My Husband and I were having our lunch today as I watched a soap opera to which I have become attached. Since we work together in our clock shop and I fix the lunch, he is subjected to it as well. Today, two people had sex that don’t belong together. I know that may shock some of you, but it does happen from time to time. We surmised that when they are found out they will use the excuse that they had sex “accidentally”.
How does one have sex accidentally? “Excuse me honey, but we were just talking and out of nowhere, her vagina just grabbed my penis and began gyrating!” I can’t see that flying. I can’t imagine being able to turn off my consciousness and suspend my cognitive abilities long enough to not realize that my clothes have been parted, as well as my legs, and then suddenly become aware. Oops, I believe I’ve just had sex with someone. Now, I am clumsy, but come on people!
For several hours this afternoon, I kept trying to come up with scenarios where one might have sex by accident. The only one I could come up with was if you were perhaps riding a special “Nude” bus, using the hand bars (because it is full of naked people). Then just at the moment you had to bend over to pick up the bible you dropped, the driver slammed on the brakes as you entered a ‘slow speed’ area and the gentleman behind you (alert and erect) was thrown forward with enough force to enter your vagina. Then, before the two of you could disentangle yourselves from this awkward predicament, the bus driver kept hitting the inappropriately spaced speed bumps for the next mile or so.
Any other ideas?